What to tell your children…
With raging fires in the Angeles National Forest, to the police massacre in Dallas, to terrorism around the world, its disheartening to see so much hate and destruction in this world. And raising small children, trying to make sense of it, can leave us as adults feeling fearful and anxious.
I often hear people say, "its a different world than when I was growing up", or "what will I tell my children?". As a mother of small children myself, I often find myself thinking many of the same thoughts. However, how we as adults deal with the 'ugly' around the world, will determine how our children perceive the world around them.
People joke with me all the time about the things I talk about with my kids. My kids know what to do during an earthquake, if there was a fire, what the tsunami siren means and what to do if they are on the beach when it goes off and mommy isn't with them. Most people laugh and chalk it up to "of course they do, because of what you do". But more importantly, they know what to do because we TALK about it. Even my three year old can show you what to do during an earthquake. Simple steps talked about now, could help save lives later. While not all inclusive, here are a few things we can do as parents to help guide our children through their fears and help them understand when unfortunate circumstances arise.
Deal with the Disaster
Let kids ask questions. Do not avoid them. Unless you are truly living 'off the grid', they will be exposed to different things regardless if you own a TV or not. They are curious and inquisitive and will have questions regarding what is going on. Children often have different perceptions of what is going on leading to misunderstandings and fears. Explain to them what happened or is happening. For example, if there is a fire explain the positive; what the firefighters are doing, how hard they are working etc. If its an earthquake, explain what YOU are doing proactively to make them safe. GO through scenarios that are relatable to them. Talk about what you would do it there was an earthquake at night, during the day, etc. Tailor it to their level so they can understand. Maybe even practice how to Drop, Cover, and Hold On. Not only will this help them feel like they are more involved, they will feel like they are actively doing something to help keep them safe.
Invite them to Participate
Include them in getting an emergency kit together. Ask them to make a list of things they think would be important for a family evacuation kit and a small bag for them to take with them. Its never too early to help kids understand how they can be prepared. By doing this, you are focusing on concrete things you can actually control.
Look for the Good
Its very easy to see all the bad, but help remind your children that even in the bad, there are always helpers in this world and in every situation. As Mr. Rogers would say, “when I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Isn't that the truth?! My social media feeds are full of residents helping the firefighters who are risking their lives to save their homes. One friend on Facebook posted the following: